The Principal Every Speech Should Hear

13 07 2010

I wanted to do a “shorter” for this new Dennis Prager column, but it just defies that kind of distillation.  Ostensibly, it’s the speech that “Principal Prager” would deliver to a gymnasium full of high school students at the beginning of the school year, but in practice it’s a reminder that freaks like Dennis Prager should never be allowed around young children.

Because I love you, I read it for you, and at great personal cost, too. I even made it to the end, though that at least was wasted effort.  Dennis isn’t really talking to kids, of course.  He’s sermonizing to liberals, and he wants liberals to know that they’re raising a generation of dunderheaded sluts with foul-mouths and victim complexes.  It’s not very subtle, but then no one with any useful understanding of subtlety (to say nothing of irony) would write this:

I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming. No more semesters will be devoted to condom-wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue. There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual, or not Christian. We will have failed if any one of you graduates from this school and does not consider him or herself inordinately lucky — to be alive and to be an American.

And then, of course:

Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country. As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.

What a sniveling, cheerless dick-toss this guy is.

—Jason

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